Hello Bloggers!

I have not written in a while, and I really need to!  A lot has happened and I'm not really sure quite how long it's been since I last posted.  We bought a house a couple years ago and that has been a roller coaster ride in itself.  It's great being a homeowner but very stressful when things come up that need to be done.  The past owner's, I swear, did not believe in shelves in the closets!  We have around 3-4 closets with shelving and they lived here for 30+ years lol.  We have natural gas water heat and a wood boiler for heat in the winter time up here in Wisconsin, USA and just had the privilege of having to get the starter switch replaced in the wood boiler.  Came up to around $240 with labor because ours is a dinosaur and they didn't have the switch on hand and had to travel to go get it.  I don't think we should've gotten charged for it, but he was on "our clock" as they said.  Whatever.   We are experiencing a HUGE snow storm right now with the accumulations estimated to be around 6-8" all together from 12p today through 6a tomorrow morning.

The kids have been exceptionally sassy and mouthy today.  My daughter M is already in bed because of her little attitude problem and my some T is not far behind.  Just at my whits end today with them...gotta love snow days *rolls eyes*.  So...a few weeks ago I had to have my husband rush me to the hospital because I was in such horrendous pain that I thought I was dying!  It felt like a hot sharp poker was getting stabbed through my right ovary all the way through to my back....They didn't find anything, but I'm thinking it was another cyst that burst...worst...pain...ever!

So on to the diet and exercise thing....or what I'm trying to get back in to.  So I gained ALL that weight back that I worked oh so hard to lose for those grueling 2 1/2 years.  Really bummed about that and trying to get back on track is posing to be extremely difficult.  Why is that?  When you're under so much stress for so long because of having to work, you're in the process of home ownership, and the crazy schedules of your kids and husband....why is it so hard to find the gusto and motivation you had before?  Is it the feeling of defeat?  Fear that you could work that hard again and be thrown more of life's curveballs and end up in the same situation again?  What?!  I believe it's just a mixture of everything bad and letting the voice in my head get the best of me.  The stress and anxiety of starting over and it taking another 2 years (at least) to get back to where you want to be.  The knowing of how absolutely hard it is to cut back on the things that comfort you in times of stress, even when you know for a fact they are completely wrong for you and you will not use them in moderation.  Hi, I'm Catherine and I'm a stress/boredom/anxiety/just because I can snacker!   I have been doing okay as far as the exercise...mostly consistent, but need to get all the way consistent.

I started running 3x a week on the treadmill we have here at home and doing weight training.  I have missed my weights and the treadmill.  Never used to like running, but it's just so freeing and cannot wait until I can pound the pavement outside!  T has asked if he can workout with me...is it bad if I don't want him down in the basement with me?  I mean, it's really the only true ME time I get!  Where I can just put the focus on me for a 30min- 1hr a day.  I CRAVE it! I'm hoping blogging will get me through my boredom and anxiety when my husband isn't here so I don't snack.  That's when I have my biggest issues still is when he isn't here and after the kids go to bed.  I should just go right downstairs and workout instead of sitting here, but I try and wait until I know the kids are sleeping or at least mostly there.

I am working again now after taking 2015 off to finish up school stuff.  I am a part time cashier at the local Dollar Tree and it is fun and keeps me busy for 5 hours 3-4 times a week while the kids are in school.  I love the team I have and the managers that work there.   I feel good about  myself when I'm working and not just sitting here wondering what to clean next, or what to do with myself if there's nothing to do....and not snack when I'm not even hungry.  I get one break since I only work 5hrs and it's only 11min....I go back and scarf down the healthy vegetarian meal I brought for the day put my feet up for a few minutes and go back to work....I love it!  And it makes me eat healthy!  Which is an added bonus.  Well, I'm off to get T started in the shower before he goes to bed.  Night Blogger world!

My breakfast of steel cut oats, raspberries, blackberries, honey and cinnamon. 

Day 2 of Insanity was a plyometric cardio circuit...holy damn was that hard, but I'm proud to say I did a little over half totally look like a gomer but I don't care. 

my post workout/late lunch chowdown...italian blend salad with chicken, green peppers, and sundried tomato vinaigrette with an orange and almond milk on the side.

Okay, in all seriousness, I almost DIDN'T work out today because I am so sore from yesterday's fitness test.  But I want so bad to prove to myself that I am able to push myself this hard and keep with it and succeed.  I wanted to cry a couple of times towards the end of the workout because it was so damn hard!  But I pushed through it, took little breaks when I really needed it, and pushed myself until I felt like throwing up.  My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my throat by the end.  But I keep visualizing where I want to be and that really helped me push myself.  No more excuses!  No more letting my depressive voice get the better of me.  I'm ready now to follow through and get my body back.  I am ready to take control of my eating habits and bring them back around to the healthy habits I have been all too lenient with....It's hard, but now that I'm home most of the time again, I have time to focus on me, and that's what I'm going to do.  I need to better myself for my whole families sake.  

My starting point

So this is my starting physique :p super gross I know!  But I just started the insanity program and hope to whittle this nastiness down and fit in to this swimsuit by summer!  That would be amazing!

new leaf

this morning I had a double layer egg, turkey bacon sandwich with one slice of cheese, on whole wheat 45calorie bread with ketchup and frank's red hot...sooo yummy!  On the side I had an orange and a couple cups of coffee.

For lunch I'm going to have a turkey and cheese sandwich with chips on the side with a big bottle of water.

feeling pretty good today...a little stressed, but not nearly as bad as yesterday.  the kids were so difficult yesterday and I skipped my workout last night and opted for margarita's and a bath instead.  Feel bad, but not going to beat myself up over it.  I'll do some light cardio tonight it make up for it.  Have to study for a big test I have in A&P on Tuesday morning and I have a couple assignments due in my Medical Terminology class tomorrow by 8p...I also go back to work tomorrow...my schedule is Monday-Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday-Wednesday....crazy week ahead that's for sure...and I have to find time to study for my second Lab Practical test the following Tuesday morning...those are hard!  Been horrible at keeping up with my workout routine and it's showing...I hate myself for it.  I have to get better at pushing myself and get myself on a regular sleeping routine....well routine period.  And stick with it...no sleeping in, no messing around...have to make a strict schedule for myself right now otherwise I slack or just do nothing.  That's not going to cut to get me to my goals in exercise, school, or anything if I procrastinate.  Starting tomorrow I'm getting up a 6a, grab a couple cups of coffee, head downstairs for weight training, come up for breakfast, then some study time, chill with the family, take a shower and then get ready for work.  I need to structurize myself....there IS time for everything, but I just have to structure it...plan it...blah that's going to suck!  And I have to watch what I eat, start calorie counting again, eat my big meal in the morning for breakfast(since it is what kick starts the metabolism for the day), a decent but not too big meal in the middle of the day for lunch, and then a smaller meal at night with a healthy snack before bed.  I can do this...need to work out a schedule for myself and print it and put it above my desk in our bedroom...Structure and discipline will get me to where I want and need to be.  :)  I just have to work out the details.  But I'm good at that sort of thing...just need it on paper.

Day 13 picture update

Day 13

Day 1

day 13

 Making progress! Love handles are going away...just need to work on trimming the stomach, lifting the butt more, and working on my back/bra line

day1

day 13

Day 1

Day 5?

Had school this morning and it was -26 with the windchill out!  UGH!  I just wanted to stay inside, snuggle with my hubby, and not do ANYTHING! I'm in quite a lazy mood today.  I had a cup of coffee to get me moving and a small bowl of raisin bran, got dressed and ready to go out in to the frigidness that is Wisconsin weather, poured more coffee in to my travel mug to bring with me, filled up my travel water bottle, gave kisses, said my I love you's to everyone, and I was off.  Got to class right on time, took my seat, and we finished our video on Genetic Coding from last week.  During break, I grabbed a blueberry muffin (bad Catherine!)  Muffins are one of my weaknesses, seriously!

I am just not feeling working out today, but I will anyway cuz I have goals to achieve! lol  So I'm going to have yet another cup of coffee, to see if that will ignite the energy I need to get through the rest of the day.  I will do my weight lifting and my Zumba today...even if I don't WANT to, I always feel great after I do it and am happy I pushed myself to do it. So coffee....then Zumba! it's only a 1/2 hour dvd, so I can do it! haha then weight lifting after the kiddos go to bed...even if I have to DRAG myself down there.  Put on my hard rock station on Slacker Radio and get to it!

My Day 3

Got up at 530a to get my son ready for school today....he did really good and was super excited to go to school :o)  Then Jarel, Mackenzie, and I went to a local diner for breakfast.  Twas a nice morning :)  Then we came home, I made the meal plan for the week, went grocery shopping and got home before the worst of the storm hit.  It got super snowy and blustery out there! Whew!  Then after Jarel was done exercising down stairs, I went down and did my upper body weight lifting.  Came up and chilled for a little bit then went and picked up Teagan and his friends from the bus stop.

Time to pump some iron lol ^my serious workout face

love my slacker radio!  Static X is PERFECT to get me pumped for my workout!

                                                 

My baby...our home gym...love it :)

Then I ate some lunch when I got back with Teagan.  After dinner, Jarel and I watched some Supernatural and played a game of Rummy, and he beat me as always. lol  Then I went downstairs for my Zumba Toning dvd session.  Only 30 minutes long, but I get to use the maraca weights and I worked up a pretty good sweat for the second time today.  Now just chilling and about to get in the shower, then paint my toenails and fingernails for my girls day tomorrow with my girl Jenn that's coming up from Green Bay for the day! YAY!  Night everyone!  Stay safe if you're in the path of this nasty snow storm and stay warm!

After Zumba!  A little pink in the cheeks with the sweaty glow! lol