Hello Bloggers!

I have not written in a while, and I really need to!  A lot has happened and I'm not really sure quite how long it's been since I last posted.  We bought a house a couple years ago and that has been a roller coaster ride in itself.  It's great being a homeowner but very stressful when things come up that need to be done.  The past owner's, I swear, did not believe in shelves in the closets!  We have around 3-4 closets with shelving and they lived here for 30+ years lol.  We have natural gas water heat and a wood boiler for heat in the winter time up here in Wisconsin, USA and just had the privilege of having to get the starter switch replaced in the wood boiler.  Came up to around $240 with labor because ours is a dinosaur and they didn't have the switch on hand and had to travel to go get it.  I don't think we should've gotten charged for it, but he was on "our clock" as they said.  Whatever.   We are experiencing a HUGE snow storm right now with the accumulations estimated to be around 6-8" all together from 12p today through 6a tomorrow morning.

The kids have been exceptionally sassy and mouthy today.  My daughter M is already in bed because of her little attitude problem and my some T is not far behind.  Just at my whits end today with them...gotta love snow days *rolls eyes*.  So...a few weeks ago I had to have my husband rush me to the hospital because I was in such horrendous pain that I thought I was dying!  It felt like a hot sharp poker was getting stabbed through my right ovary all the way through to my back....They didn't find anything, but I'm thinking it was another cyst that burst...worst...pain...ever!

So on to the diet and exercise thing....or what I'm trying to get back in to.  So I gained ALL that weight back that I worked oh so hard to lose for those grueling 2 1/2 years.  Really bummed about that and trying to get back on track is posing to be extremely difficult.  Why is that?  When you're under so much stress for so long because of having to work, you're in the process of home ownership, and the crazy schedules of your kids and husband....why is it so hard to find the gusto and motivation you had before?  Is it the feeling of defeat?  Fear that you could work that hard again and be thrown more of life's curveballs and end up in the same situation again?  What?!  I believe it's just a mixture of everything bad and letting the voice in my head get the best of me.  The stress and anxiety of starting over and it taking another 2 years (at least) to get back to where you want to be.  The knowing of how absolutely hard it is to cut back on the things that comfort you in times of stress, even when you know for a fact they are completely wrong for you and you will not use them in moderation.  Hi, I'm Catherine and I'm a stress/boredom/anxiety/just because I can snacker!   I have been doing okay as far as the exercise...mostly consistent, but need to get all the way consistent.

I started running 3x a week on the treadmill we have here at home and doing weight training.  I have missed my weights and the treadmill.  Never used to like running, but it's just so freeing and cannot wait until I can pound the pavement outside!  T has asked if he can workout with me...is it bad if I don't want him down in the basement with me?  I mean, it's really the only true ME time I get!  Where I can just put the focus on me for a 30min- 1hr a day.  I CRAVE it! I'm hoping blogging will get me through my boredom and anxiety when my husband isn't here so I don't snack.  That's when I have my biggest issues still is when he isn't here and after the kids go to bed.  I should just go right downstairs and workout instead of sitting here, but I try and wait until I know the kids are sleeping or at least mostly there.

I am working again now after taking 2015 off to finish up school stuff.  I am a part time cashier at the local Dollar Tree and it is fun and keeps me busy for 5 hours 3-4 times a week while the kids are in school.  I love the team I have and the managers that work there.   I feel good about  myself when I'm working and not just sitting here wondering what to clean next, or what to do with myself if there's nothing to do....and not snack when I'm not even hungry.  I get one break since I only work 5hrs and it's only 11min....I go back and scarf down the healthy vegetarian meal I brought for the day put my feet up for a few minutes and go back to work....I love it!  And it makes me eat healthy!  Which is an added bonus.  Well, I'm off to get T started in the shower before he goes to bed.  Night Blogger world!

My breakfast of steel cut oats, raspberries, blackberries, honey and cinnamon. 

Day 2 of Insanity was a plyometric cardio circuit...holy damn was that hard, but I'm proud to say I did a little over half totally look like a gomer but I don't care. 

my post workout/late lunch chowdown...italian blend salad with chicken, green peppers, and sundried tomato vinaigrette with an orange and almond milk on the side.

Okay, in all seriousness, I almost DIDN'T work out today because I am so sore from yesterday's fitness test.  But I want so bad to prove to myself that I am able to push myself this hard and keep with it and succeed.  I wanted to cry a couple of times towards the end of the workout because it was so damn hard!  But I pushed through it, took little breaks when I really needed it, and pushed myself until I felt like throwing up.  My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my throat by the end.  But I keep visualizing where I want to be and that really helped me push myself.  No more excuses!  No more letting my depressive voice get the better of me.  I'm ready now to follow through and get my body back.  I am ready to take control of my eating habits and bring them back around to the healthy habits I have been all too lenient with....It's hard, but now that I'm home most of the time again, I have time to focus on me, and that's what I'm going to do.  I need to better myself for my whole families sake.  

My starting point

So this is my starting physique :p super gross I know!  But I just started the insanity program and hope to whittle this nastiness down and fit in to this swimsuit by summer!  That would be amazing!

new leaf

this morning I had a double layer egg, turkey bacon sandwich with one slice of cheese, on whole wheat 45calorie bread with ketchup and frank's red hot...sooo yummy!  On the side I had an orange and a couple cups of coffee.

For lunch I'm going to have a turkey and cheese sandwich with chips on the side with a big bottle of water.

feeling pretty good today...a little stressed, but not nearly as bad as yesterday.  the kids were so difficult yesterday and I skipped my workout last night and opted for margarita's and a bath instead.  Feel bad, but not going to beat myself up over it.  I'll do some light cardio tonight it make up for it.  Have to study for a big test I have in A&P on Tuesday morning and I have a couple assignments due in my Medical Terminology class tomorrow by 8p...I also go back to work tomorrow...my schedule is Monday-Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday-Wednesday....crazy week ahead that's for sure...and I have to find time to study for my second Lab Practical test the following Tuesday morning...those are hard!  Been horrible at keeping up with my workout routine and it's showing...I hate myself for it.  I have to get better at pushing myself and get myself on a regular sleeping routine....well routine period.  And stick with it...no sleeping in, no messing around...have to make a strict schedule for myself right now otherwise I slack or just do nothing.  That's not going to cut to get me to my goals in exercise, school, or anything if I procrastinate.  Starting tomorrow I'm getting up a 6a, grab a couple cups of coffee, head downstairs for weight training, come up for breakfast, then some study time, chill with the family, take a shower and then get ready for work.  I need to structurize myself....there IS time for everything, but I just have to structure it...plan it...blah that's going to suck!  And I have to watch what I eat, start calorie counting again, eat my big meal in the morning for breakfast(since it is what kick starts the metabolism for the day), a decent but not too big meal in the middle of the day for lunch, and then a smaller meal at night with a healthy snack before bed.  I can do this...need to work out a schedule for myself and print it and put it above my desk in our bedroom...Structure and discipline will get me to where I want and need to be.  :)  I just have to work out the details.  But I'm good at that sort of thing...just need it on paper.

Day 13 picture update

Day 13

Day 1

day 13

 Making progress! Love handles are going away...just need to work on trimming the stomach, lifting the butt more, and working on my back/bra line

day1

day 13

Day 1

Day 5?

Had school this morning and it was -26 with the windchill out!  UGH!  I just wanted to stay inside, snuggle with my hubby, and not do ANYTHING! I'm in quite a lazy mood today.  I had a cup of coffee to get me moving and a small bowl of raisin bran, got dressed and ready to go out in to the frigidness that is Wisconsin weather, poured more coffee in to my travel mug to bring with me, filled up my travel water bottle, gave kisses, said my I love you's to everyone, and I was off.  Got to class right on time, took my seat, and we finished our video on Genetic Coding from last week.  During break, I grabbed a blueberry muffin (bad Catherine!)  Muffins are one of my weaknesses, seriously!

I am just not feeling working out today, but I will anyway cuz I have goals to achieve! lol  So I'm going to have yet another cup of coffee, to see if that will ignite the energy I need to get through the rest of the day.  I will do my weight lifting and my Zumba today...even if I don't WANT to, I always feel great after I do it and am happy I pushed myself to do it. So coffee....then Zumba! it's only a 1/2 hour dvd, so I can do it! haha then weight lifting after the kiddos go to bed...even if I have to DRAG myself down there.  Put on my hard rock station on Slacker Radio and get to it!

My Day 3

Got up at 530a to get my son ready for school today....he did really good and was super excited to go to school :o)  Then Jarel, Mackenzie, and I went to a local diner for breakfast.  Twas a nice morning :)  Then we came home, I made the meal plan for the week, went grocery shopping and got home before the worst of the storm hit.  It got super snowy and blustery out there! Whew!  Then after Jarel was done exercising down stairs, I went down and did my upper body weight lifting.  Came up and chilled for a little bit then went and picked up Teagan and his friends from the bus stop.

Time to pump some iron lol ^my serious workout face

love my slacker radio!  Static X is PERFECT to get me pumped for my workout!

                                                 

My baby...our home gym...love it :)

Then I ate some lunch when I got back with Teagan.  After dinner, Jarel and I watched some Supernatural and played a game of Rummy, and he beat me as always. lol  Then I went downstairs for my Zumba Toning dvd session.  Only 30 minutes long, but I get to use the maraca weights and I worked up a pretty good sweat for the second time today.  Now just chilling and about to get in the shower, then paint my toenails and fingernails for my girls day tomorrow with my girl Jenn that's coming up from Green Bay for the day! YAY!  Night everyone!  Stay safe if you're in the path of this nasty snow storm and stay warm!

After Zumba!  A little pink in the cheeks with the sweaty glow! lol

day 2 weight lifting session!

I love how my lower body weight lifting days only take a 1/2 hour to finish from start to finish...and that's 5 super sets with rotating each super set 2x and then immediately starting the next...and so on and so forth to keep the heart rate going at a steady cardio state.  Really gets you sweating!  Feel great for getting through 2 days of my new routine!  Only 8 more days of this specific program lol...I can do this!  For now I am signing out for the night and going to take a shower and have some much needed snuggle time with my husband....I've missed him all weekend!

Where I started to now...

here are some before and after photos so that you can see how far I've already come....

This is my starting point before #1

Before #2

this is when I was PREGNANT with our daughter Mackenzie....can't tell can ya? :( 

After pic #1...April 2011 at the Bowling Alley for our son's 4th birthday

After pic #2...June 2011

Day 2...Lower body and exhilarate

Well...woke up at 5:30a just to find out that my kids school's are closed because of the ice rinks we have for roads from the freezing rain we got over night.  I e-mailed my professor and canceled my class for today and stayed home as well.  I tried to go back to sleep, but it didn't work that well, so I made a full 12cup pot of coffee and had a couple (2 of my cups usually sends me flying high!)  Then once the kids finally woke up, I told them they could make some cereal for themselves, and I made poured myself a bowl as well.  Then, as the usual, I putzed around on the internet until I was ready to get myself ready for my first workout session of the day. 

I did my Zumba first today since it's an hour long session and I don't want to be doing that at night before bed....I like my sleep thank you very much! But I like all of the dvds thus far...the hour went by extremely fast :)  Now it's time to make myself some lunch quick and then go out and get some beer ;) oh yea!  lol 

Alright!

Alright...this is huge for me to do this.....show my shame on the internet.  these are pictures that I just took today at around 10:30a.  This is what I'm starting with on this part of my journey.  I am starting the Zumba 10-day Accelerated Fat Loss Program and weight lifting on top of that.  My schedule will be weight lift in the morning/afternoon(which ever alots me time) and Zumba after dinner.

This is my workout routine....
Monday: Upper body in the morning/afternoon(whenever I have time) and after dinner I will be doing the Zumba Activate dvd
    Super Set #1
         1.Bench Press w/ 5 and 2 1/2lbs plates on each side, 3sets of 15reps
         2.Hammer curls w/ 8lb handweights, 3sets of 15reps
         3.Exercise ball crunches, 3sets of 15reps
    Super Set #2
         1.Lat. Pull downs 30lbs, 3 sets of 15reps
         2.Shoulder pull downs 30lbs, 3 sets of 15reps
         3.Around the worlds w/ 8lb hand weight, 3sets of 15reps
    Super Set #3
         1.Tricep extensions w/ 8lb hand weights, 3sets of 15reps each
         2.Reverse crunches, 3sets of 15 reps
         3.back extensions on the exercise ball, 3 sets of 15reps
    Super Set #4
         1.Shoulder press w/ 8lb hand weights, 3 sets of 15reps
         2.Bicep curls(wide arm) 8lb hand weights, 3 sets of 15 reps
         3.Free weight flies on exercise ball w/8lb hand weights, 3 sets of 15reps

Tuesday: Lower body and Zumba Exhilarate dvd
    Super Set #1
        1.One-legged squats w/8lb weights, 2 sets of 15reps
        2.Sumo dead lifts with bar and 5lb plates, 2 sets of 15reps
   Super Set #2
        1.Plank lifts, 2 sets of 15reps
        2.Windshield wipers 2 sets of 15 reps
        3.Elevated crunches w/ exercise ball, 2 sets of 15 reps
   Super Set #3
        1.Lateral drop lunges w/ bar and 5lb plates, 2 sets of 15 reps
        2. Starbursts, 2 sets of 15 reps
   Super Set #4
        1.Bridges, 2 sets of 15 reps
        2.Donkey kicks, 2 sets of 15 reps
        3.calf raises w/ 10lb plate, 2 sets of 15 reps each side
   Super Set #5
       1.Standing Adducts with medium exercise band, 2 sets of 15reps each side
       2.Lateral raises, 2 sets of 15 reps.

Wednesday: Upper body and Zumba Toning dvd
Thursday: Lower body and Zumba Exhilarate dvd
Friday: Upper body and Zumba Toning dvd
Saturday: Total Body Stretch
      1.Overhead arm stretch, hold for 15-30sec 3-5x
      2.Chest Stretch,  hold for 15-30sec 3-5x
      3.Neck Stretch, hold for 15-30sec  3-5x
      4.Shoulder Stretch, hold for 15-30 sec 3-5x
      5.Quadriceps Stretch, hold for 15-30 sec 3-5x
      6.Calf Stretch, hold 15-30 sec 3-5x
      7.Hamstring Stretch, hold for 15-30 sec 3-5x
      8.Hip Flexor Stretch, hold for 15-30 sec 3-5x
Sunday: Lower Body and Zumba Exhilarate dvd
Monday: Upper Body and Zumba Toning dvd
Tuesday: Lower Body and Zumba Exhilarate dvd
Wednesday: final day! Upper Body and Zumba Toning dvd.

Alright, here we go....AGAIN!

Alright...I got the Zumba Exhilarate 5 dvd set and I was going pretty good for a little while, then I fell off the band wagon.  I haven't stuck to a consistent diet plan, which I need to if this blubber's gonna melt away, and haven't been super consistent with my exercising.  Starting today, and from now on, I'm going to do weight lifting in the morning/afternoon and Zumba after dinner, along with calorie counting and watching my carb/cheese/junk food intake<------major problem!   I've been down on myself for quite a few months about losing weight and just seeing everything hang instead of suck in and lift up....but it's my fault, no one else's because of my inconsistencies.  I need to get really disciplined if I want to achieve my goal of getting down to 150(that's 20lbs) before spring hits and 140-145 before summer hits so I can get a new sexy swim suit...and might have to get more summer clothes ;)   I am going to do this!  I need to do this for my self-esteem's sake.  I hate feeling like a blubbery, flappy blob!  I want to feel comfortable naked in front of my husband again...I know my stomach isn't going to be perfect ever again, that's just the reality of having kids.  I don't want six-pack abs, but if it happens yay!  All I want is a lifted butt, firm thighs, a semi-flat stomach, no flappy chicken wings(yuck!), an in shape hour glass figure again, and self confidence through the roof!  This will only happen if I make it happen!  I can put blame on who ever I want, but it's my fault and I'm the only one that can change it, and change it I shall!

Day 3...fruits, veggies, and soup day!

Woke up this morning feeling a little groggy and sore, but still pretty good.  Chatted with the hubby a while after he got home from a long night at work, made some tea, made the kids some excellent egg, cheese, and bacon sandwiches with apples, and heated up some soup and cut up an apple for myself for breakfast.  Looked out the window to some more snow, and how I love it!  As part of a workout today, I am going to go outside and shovel the driveway, and play with the kids and dog in the snow...hopefully it's the fun packy snow, so we can have a snowball fight!  I'm so excited that I can have fruit today, it will really help curve my sweet cravings!  I just need to remind myself to eat at least 4 bowls of soup today...yesterday I only had two, and I feel upset about that.  and I'm going to cut up my broccoli today to have with my salad and spinach mix for lunch with my soup.  Before or after lunch I will be doing my cardio session; cuz today is cardio day as well!  I will update more through out the day

Day 2 evening

Got to have an amazing baked potato with butter and made a side of steamed asparagus to go with it for dinner last night.  This morning I weighed myself and I've already lost 5lbs :)  4 more days of this and we'll see the results at the end.  Might do this for another week if I don't get the results I want.  Last night I got a HORRIBLE sweet craving, but instead of caving I just crabbed my bag of salad and spinach mix.  I'm proud of myself that I resisted the urge to cheat!  I had baby carrots when I wanted something sweet, salad, and the soup.  Day 2 was a total success in my eyes.  It was my all veggie and soup day.  The first salad I made yesterday morning, I tried putting a little lemon juice on it...did not like it at all!  So the other salads I had I just had them dry and it was MUCH better.  Not much to say about yesterday I guess lol.

day 2 of many

Yesterday I started a week long cleanse diet that I found on Gather.com http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977029132   
and the soup is pretty good.   It was hard yesterday because I started going through sugar withdrawals, BAD!  I took a starting photo and weight...couldn't find my measuring tape to take before measurements, but I'm still looking for it!  Yesterday I could just have fruit, except bananas, and the special weight loss soup, tea and water.  Did my cardio session with my Jillain Michaels dvd during the afternoon and did my upper body weight lifting exercises last night after the kids went to bed.

Oh yea! Background.  I'm 26, a mother to a 4yr old little girl that we'll call Boo Boo, a 5yr old boy that we'll call Yogi, and married to love of my life and we'll call him Superman.  I have been on this weight loss journey for a LONG time...years in fact.  The weight GAIN started when I got pregnant with our son Yogi, and continued when we found out we were pregnant yet again 10 1/2 months after he was born with Boo Boo.  Between the back to back pregnancies, the stress of a baby that NEVER wanted to sleep, Superman going to work and school and I working as well full time, there was no time to think of healthy eating, but I did try and exercise.  I was taking daily walks with my son when I would get home from work, and tried changing my diet as much as I could...good thing all my daughter made me crave was healthy foods...the worst thing I craved was mashed potatoes lol. After Boo Boo was born I tried to work out with cardio and what not, but my body would not allow me to, since I gained around 90lbs between the both of them, and that kept setting me back. 

My starting weight was 215lbs and now I'm at 170lbs in 3 years...it's slow going, but I'm getting there.  My first goal is 150lbs, my ultimate goal is 145lbs where I'll be doing maintenance.  With the diet I am also working out...Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I am doing lower body weight training with light cardio, Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm doing heavy cardio and upper body weight training, and Saturdays is heavy cardio only day.  So, yea I don't have that much to do, but I'm still 20lbs away from my goal and am DETERMINED to get it off by summer so I can feel more comfortable in my skin(and shorts lol).

So, join me on my journey!  I will be posting every day until I reach my goal.  With daily update pictures, how I feel about the diet and just my feelings for the day period!

                                          Day 1 up above

                                          Day 2 up above
a little bit of a difference, not much....we shall see after a week what has happened to the mommy belly that's out of control! lol